Modern Parenting

My wife and I are incredibly close with our boys, who are 17 and 14 years old. We spend as much time with them as possible, and both of them long for us to return home. They wouldn’t go to bed without talking to us about what happened throughout the day, and we try to speak to them a couple of times over the phone before we see them at home.

I have a very open relationship with my sons; I talk to them, mentor them, guide them, discipline them, and always try to balance Deen, Duniya, Haraam, and HALAAL. We have discussions for hours where we have fun, but I always make it a point to bring in the values of Islam so they stay grounded simultaneously. It’s called “striking a balance.”

But this ease in our relationship is a conscious effort of years of spending time with the family. This wasn’t achieved overnight, And the secret of this is “listening.” Yes, they are listening. It’s imperative to listen whenever your kids speak to you. And don’t just listen; make sure you pay attention. Listen to understand, and don’t just listen to respond. Most of all, you gotta also listen to their “silence”……yes, this may sound complex to most people as to how you listen to someone’s silence?….. The trick is to pay attention, watch their demeanor, read their body language, try to observe, and always ask constantly. If you have an open relationship with your kids, they will open up with all their problems and tell you everything.

I always tell my boys, if you don’t tell me the problem, how can I take you out of it?

We live in America, and our kid’s school friends, who are mainly white Americans, are incredibly amazed at the kind of our home environment. They know we are Muslims, and they respect us a lot.

I believe we, as Muslims, need to strike a balance, period! We don’t need to be extra loud and obnoxious about our religion/beliefs.

We pray salah with jamat at home, primarily by my older son. My boys learn the Quran online every day (we have a Maulana who works with my boys online every day)

#ModernMuslims

I am sorry I got a bit off-topic by mentioning the Islamic aspect in my comment. I just wanted to reply from a Muslim parent’s point of view.